Hate to Love You
by ThisKittyPurrs
Summary: Their kind of love was the kind outsiders could never understand. It was unhealthy, but it was theirs. SessInu. Inucest.
1. Hooked On You

**Disclaimer** : Don't own Inuyasha.

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Lips met in a frenzied hurry, desperately trying to feel the lips they sought. Hands roamed where everywhere they could reach. Clothes came off quickly, skin being exposed to the chilled air that surrounded them. The coolness that touched their flesh being replaced by the heat the other gave them as bodies pressed flush against each other. Moans and naughty whispers filled the space. They moved in a perfect motion, pleasure being given and received. They brought each other to nirvana as their end was finally reached. Heavy breathing heard as they had a moment to collect themselves. Just the slightest of touches, or their lips meeting once more was enough to get them started again. It seemed to be a never ending cycle.

Shouts and curses were thrown out and returned with just as much passion. They struggled, shoved, and grabbed the other with the intention of being heard. To get their point across. Frustrations rose, anger becoming apparent as they continued back and forth. They breathed heavily as if in battle. They fought hard. Just as hard they loved. Words were thrown around carelessly to land a hit upon the other, hoping to wound and hurt. Words they would later come to regret, but anger blinding them in this moment. Words they really didn't mean.

Which often led to them claiming they were through with trying. Their pride not letting them reach out to the other. To go after the person that chose to walk away. Pride not wanting them to be the first to break. It seemed to be a never ending cycle.

Of course, someone had to break. It was inevitable. The anger would fade. The silence that came with being alone speaking volumes. The warm body they missed not there to reach out and touch. The anger would turn inward, feelings of regret making itself known. A desire to right the wrongs that was bone deep.

They always found a way back to each other. Didn't matter how. They told the other of their revelations, and promises were made. Love expressed as they enjoyed having the other back in their arms again. It was easy, forgetting why they were even mad to begin with. It suddenly seemed so small. Not having the other besides them being the reality check they seemed to need.

Over and over they did these things. Over and over they reunited. It was just how they worked. Ingrained into them to their very core. It seemed they didn't know any other way. Even in the madness. Even through the anger they drove the other to. Beyond the hurt they felt at the hands of the person they cared for the most. The thought of not having the other there at all served as their light at the end of the tunnel. The shining beacon that they often found together.

They would continue on this path without a lasting solution in sight but that was okay. It was their normal. They accepted whatever came with being with one another. It was just how they worked.

It was a never ending cycle.

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 **AN** : Just a little short that popped into my head. I've already thought of some oneshots based around this whole darker love concept. What did you think?


	2. Our Kind of Love

**AN** : Please read!

These oneshots and shorts are completely unrelated unless I expressly state otherwise. They are written with the intention of keeping the same concept through different stories and scenes. They will vary in length. If **abusive** (physical, mental, emotional) themes do nothing for you or offend you in anyway, please do not read any further. If I write something I believe to be too "heavy", I'll give a warning at the beginning of the chapter. Again, this not a real "story." But a collection.

If you are still interested, I thank you for deciding to check out my collection of stories and I hope you enjoy.

 **Warning** : This short contains themes of physical abuse. Please leave if this does not suit you. In no way, shape or form do I support or advocate for the themes expressed throughout these tales. It is merely my imagination running its course. You have been warned.

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The small group of people standing outside of the club's entrance watched the loud, arguing silver haired couple with growing worry. The watched in silence, some trading wide eyed comical glances. Some trading worried looks with the strangers around them.

The smaller of the two seemed to be intoxicated and the taller of the two didn't appear to be pleased about it. They were so intent in their words they didn't seem to notice the pairs of eyes blatantly watching them.

No one was prepared when the whited haired hanyou suddenly brought his hand across the other's cheek. The sound resonating in the cold night air even from this decent distance away from the pair. The silver haired dog seemed to freeze for several tense moments before suddenly grabbing his companion by the arm, roughly shoving him up against the cemented foundation they stood beside. His words a growl and clearly holding his anger.

The group started to stir then, the hanyou struggling against what looked like an iron tight grip. Shouting at the other to let him go and turning his head at the striped face bent down invading his personal space.

The silver haired demon turned his head at the shouts and pleas to let the hanyou go. The hanyou's own shouts mixing in with their own. Glaring coldly at the few bold ones who started to approach with their arms up before them. Hoping to appear placating.

The hanyou noticed the other's attentions turned from him and turned bleary eyes, finally taking notice of the surrounding people.

Everyone stilled and quieted in disbelief at seeing the hanyou turn his agitation towards them. Yelling to leave them alone and mind their own business. Some not so nice slurred obscenities not long to follow.

A few of the witnesses shook their heads and started to walk further down the busy street. Away from the weird spectacle taking place in front of the closed club. Some watched, confused at the now kissing silver haired pair.

Slowly, the people dispersed until there were only two. Their heated words now channelled into growing need. None witnessing the almost gentle way the two now handled the other. As if their earlier actions had never been.

The two quickly becoming lost in their own world of madness where nothing and no one reached them there.

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 **AN** : It won't get any better from here. I don't mean to offend anyone or possibly cause a trigger. Please don't read any future chapters if this short was not to your liking. These are **DARK**! You won't like anything else I post either.

See ya.


	3. Killer Affections

**AN** : Thanks for the reviews.

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He hissed as he brought the ice pack away from his face, leaning back away from his reflection. A barely felt touch of his fingers away from around his eye confirming the aching touch. The skin under under his right eye already darkening into a harsh purple-bluish color.

He looked down from the white haired hanyou staring back at him and pressed the cool pack back against his heated flesh. Eyeing the pink tinged white cloth that lay in a clump in the sink.

He jumped at the loud knock that sounded to his right, panic shooting through him at the insistent jiggle of the gold door handle. He backed away from the door ever slowly. Knowing if the other really cared enough to break the door down it wouldn't be an issue.

"Inuyasha. Open the door." Came the calmly spoken muffled words from the opposite side of the door. "I'm. .I am no longer upset. I promise. Come out now. You've been in there for hours."

He took a deep silent breath, his heart becoming lodged in his throat.

"You know I never mean to truly harm you. I. . do not wish to live without you. I can not let you leave."

A soft breath of air escaped him. He closed his eyes, willing the other to go away. He could already feel himself crumbling. Like so many other times. Each and every time he'd tell himself this time was different. That he was through. Then his boyfriend would come and whisper sweet nothings in his ear. And. . he'd fall for it. Thinking maybe. Just maybe. . things would finally change for the better. It was always good for a moment. But only for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Inuyasha. I saw you with him and I seen red. Seeing his desire-"

"And I told you it wasn't like that!" He shouted as he threw the ice pick in the sink, feeling anger from the intense argument between them hours prior. "You flip out if someone else so much as looks at me. It's not my fault."

"You don't necessarily make it any better by entertaining their conversation Inuyasha. I doubt it takes that long to inform someone you're in a relationship."

"Entertain?" He repeated incredulously. "You think I entertain them?"

"What else would you call it? If someone expresses an interest in you and you tell them your taken. Yet, you continue to converse with them. How can you call it anything else?"

"I'm sorry I can't be the asshole you want me to be." The sarcasm impossible to miss. "But if you really cared to pay attention, you would see them talking to me. If they sick around after that, that's them Sesshomaru. Not me giving them any reason to think they have a chance with me." He shook his head. "But you don't see that do you," he muttered irritably with a throw of his hands in the air. "All you can see is me somehow being disloyal. You never give me the benefit of the doubt."

"You walk away Inuyasha." The full-blood said as if that should have been obvious. "You come find me. How can you blame me for assuming the worst? Do you truly not see the issue I have with this?"

"Walk away? You want me to walk away every time someone off the street comes up to me? And run to you as if I'm suddenly incapable of speaking for myself? Do you even hear yourself right now?" He asked in disbelief.

"Do I not turn away everyone who comes up to me? I've never given you a reason to doubt my feelings for you. I do this for you Inuyasha. Why is it you can not give me the same courtesy?"

He inched closer to the door. "I thought that's what I was doing! Only difference is I actually trust you! Anything I do is not going to make a difference if you don't trust me!"

He stopped, the weight of his own words sinking in as they processed in his mind. Hands finding purchase against the wall as he turned his back to slide down until he met the cold tile beneath him.

"What more do you want from me?" He suddenly asked in a voice that clearly held his confusion. He was lost and tears filled his eyes. "What else can I do to show you that I would never do that to you? You never seem to see what I'm trying to show you. Prove to you. Something has to give, Sess. Because. . I don't know if I can keep going on like this."

He looked to the door as silence reigned from the other side for a very long moment. Only to immediately jump up as the sound of splintering wood suddenly filled the large space. He backed away quickly, heart hammering out of control as he watched the door being kicked in from the other side. Jumping as the door finally gave away at the insistent pressure. Eyes wide as the red eyed gaze of the dog demon became his point of focus over the destroyed door that now lay in pieces over the floor.

He held a hand up between him and the fast approaching demon as he backed uselessly further into the bathroom. "N-No, Sess. Don't. I'm sor-"

His words were cut off as the clawed fingers curled around his neck, strangled gasps leaving him as he brought his hands up to claw at the hand that held him. Eyes wide as he stared into an unwavering sea of red. "Ah. .I- Se- C-Ca- brea- argh." Tears streamed down his face as his mouth hung open. Attempting to communicate around the hand wrapped around him. His watched as boyfriend's lip curled back over his fang before his world suddenly went rushing past him. Gasping as pain radiated in his shoulder from being flung across the bathroom and landing awkwardly over the hard floor.

His world was blurred as he attempted to get his arms under him to prop himself. Everything in him screaming to get away only to immediately scream out at the clawed hand that entangled in his hair. Pulling harshly as the other drug him towards the ruined doorway. He screamed and flailed but to no avail. The fingers too deeply imbedded in his hair to lessen the strain as he was dragged out of the bathroom. Hissing at the small chunks of wood that scraped and dug into his skin as the demon carelessly pulled him down the carpeted hallway. Rug burn making him gasp as his hands cradled his aching scalp. "Let me go!"

The sound of a sliding door filled the space as the demon released him and he jumped to his feet, running for the bedroom door he'd been drug through only to be caught by his arm. He struggled and scratched at whatever was within his reach, managing to catch the demon's striped cheek as Sesshomaru wrestled him through the open door that led out onto the balcony.

He shook his head and drug his feet. Making his body heavy as they neared the railing overlooking the far streets below. Sesshomaru maneuvered him still. He looked up with desperate eyes. "I'm. . I'm so sorry," he cried, tears running down his cheeks as he looked up. "Don't do this to me, Sesshomaru. Don't kill me. I'm sorry."

The demon's face never changed, his features impossible to read and set in stone. His jaw tight as he looked to the railing of the balcony.

"Sess, no. No, don't do th-" He quieted at the sudden squeeze to the back of his neck. Loud sobs leaving him as the demon tipped him dangerously over the railing of the balcony. Chest heaving as he looked to the passing cars and pedestrians on the streets below. If he were to go over there was no way he'd survive the fall. Not even a full-blood was likely to still be alive after dropping from this height.

He watched in a daze the changing street lights as he hung suspended above. Not able to distinguish Sesshomaru's heavy breathing from his own. The slight breeze ruffling his hair around him under the darkening sky above them. The tears stopped as he stared wide-eyed towards the cement. The scene of his death playing in his mind's eye. He stayed absolutely still.

"Take a good look, Inuyasha." Sesshomaru bit out roughly. "Because that's the only option you have of leaving me. That you could even fix your lips to utter such nonsense to me," he growled out the last few words and the hanyou suddenly found himself pushed out even further. Closing his eyes as a whimper sounded from his throat. Hoping to draw some form of sympathy from the other but it seemed the demon wasn't in a forgiving mood. "Your life is no longer yours to do with as you please. This is what you signed on for when you decided to be mine. You are only permitted to leave me if your soul is no longer of your body. When you no longer continue to draw breath. If you truly wish to leave from me, then you are free to go. Choose."

He blinked back the moisture clouding his vision. Mouth stammering. "Sess-" He cried out at the tightening painful grip around his neck. Heart breaking sobs piercing the space around them. He shook his head.

"Choose, Inuyasha. Now." Sesshomaru growled out. His words hardly distinguishable.

He cried until he was bent even further over the railing. "I-I'll stay! Okay?" He gasped, chest hurting more than he'd ever remembered feeling. "I'll stay." He sobbed out, the words a string of mumbled litanies until he felt himself being pulled away from dangling over the harsh unforgiving streets.

Not fighting the arms that came to hug him close as the demon led them back inside, shutting the cool air out behind them.

The demon guided them towards the bed and he snuggled his face into Sesshomaru's chest. Scared beyond belief but needing some form of comfort.

The soft utterings for him to calm down and that the other loved him eventually managing to quiet the intense bawling down to the occasional sniffle.

How was it still possible feel any love for this man after everything he'd put him through. Even now, in his deepest form of pain ever known, he still loved Sesshomaru.

The arms tightened around him and he didn't fight the darkness that washed over him.

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His eyes fluttered open and his heart didn't hesitate in trying to leave his body at seeing the gold eyes trained onto him.

He sat up and the other immediately followed after him. Sesshomaru's lips finding his. He tried to turn his head away but fingers gripped his chin in warning and he relaxed. And soon found himself responding despite his wishes. Even though fear definitely had a place inside him in this moment.

The dog pulled away and he put some space between them, a quick look down confirming they were both in fact completely naked.

His eyes watched Sesshomaru and the dog watched him. Expecting to once again be on the receiving end of the other's enraged stare. Before he realized what he was doing, his fingers gently massaged over the tender feeling in his throat. Flinching at the fingers that came to pry his hand away from his neck. He watched as the other studied him and wondered just what he was looking at. He knew he'd be sporting a ring of red over the irritated flesh there. He stilled, breath hitching in his throat at the face that came towards his neck. Lips pressing ever gently on the abused skin there. Eyes falling shut as a single trail of tears fell. Blinking his eyes open at the tongue that licked up either line. Breath fanning across his lips as the full blood pressed a chaste kiss before moving to lay completely over him. The hanyou slowly leaning back until his back lay against the cool pillow.

Lips found his and his eyes slid shut on their own accord. Hands reaching up to cradle the striped face as Sesshomaru took complete control over his mouth. Breaking away with a gasp as Sesshomaru lowered his hard length over his, their hips moving as heat quickly built between them.

His hands drifted to his boyfriend's shoulders as shots of teasing pleasure gripped him. Heavy breaths left him at the finger that rolled his hardening nipple expertly. Eyes falling shut in sexual bliss as they rocked against the other. Lips moving in sync as hisses and grunts escaped them both. He bit into his lip at the familiar pressure build up within. As if sensing his need, the full-blood grind into him harder and faster. Eyes intently trained onto the face below his.

Their eyes stayed locked as he spilled himself between them, moans leaving him. Only intensified at seeing the other's eyes close as his own release mingled with his own.

Both of them breathing heavy as they stayed still. Sesshomaru breaking the staring match to lift a finger, swiping it under his bruised eye. Coming away with wetness. Not having even realized he was crying.

He abruptly sat up, pushing the other off of him. Cradling his head against his knees as he tried to reign in the suffocating feeling holding him. He shrugged off the hand that came to wound around his waist. "Don't touch me." He mumbled.

The following silence made him peek his head up, turning to see the demon laying flat on his back, eyes trained onto the white ceiling over them. At feeling his gaze, Sesshomaru turned his head. Inuyasha turned his body to face him, keeping the sheets around him. "I thought. .I thought you loved me." He whispered. Hesitation clouding his words. The pain clear to hear in his voice.

Sesshomaru never looked away. "I do. Everything I do is with the intentions of proving just how deep my feelings for you go. Everything." He stressed.

The hanyou wiped at his face. "Would you have. . you would've really killed me?" He watched him with bated breath, heart clenching as he wasn't sure he really wanted to know the answer to his question or not.

The demon did look away then. Jaw visibly clenching. Eyes back onto the ceiling. "Yes."

His stomach rolled and he backed away in hurt. "W-Why?"

Sesshomaru closed his eyes. "I could not survive seeing you with someone else. The very thought of anyone getting close to you. Taking you away from me. . it. ." Inuyasha watched as the other suddenly rubbed across the center of his chest in circular motions. As if pained. "I fear it would kill me to witness it. If I can not have you then so be it. But no other will have you."

"Sesshomaru." He breathed, not knowing what to say. He hadn't realized the extent of his boyfriend's feelings. They had their fights. They argued. Hit. Assumed his boyfriend had serious jealousy issues he tried to work through. But this. . was something he had no clue how to handle.

"Life without you in it has no meaning for me. There would be little reason for me to continue to draw breath." Their eyes connected again. "I would follow you anywhere."

He watched in a slight daze the demon that made his way closer to him, stopping directly before him. "I can not see you with any other and. . there is no purpose in living without you beside me. I did not lie to you in my words last night. Death will be your only escape from me but I would not be far behind."

Why he didn't pull away from the lips that meshed with his he did not know. Rip away from the hand that came up to cradle his bruised face. He was terrified. The other's words serious. That much he could see. To be the center of Sesshomaru's world in such a light was disturbing. Never having been in such a toxic relationship.

Maybe that was the appeal. Never have affected someone to such a degree. To hear someone speak of killing themselves so easily. And all because he was no longer apart of their world. He held that much weight in the demon's eyes. No one ever wanted him with such an intensity before. It was a scary thought and yet. . he was right where he wanted to be. Tears poured but he didn't pull away. He pressed forward until the demon lay under him, feeling the hands gripping either side of his waist. He pulled away to roam over the face below him before settling on eyes identical to his own. "I don't want to leave you anymore than than you want me to go. But you have to understand I can't control other people's actions, Sesshomaru. You can not hold me accountable because someone's being persistent or stubborn. They will never have me," he stressed before pressing another kiss to the slightly parted pair below. Lingering for a moment before pulling away some. "You have to learn to trust in me like I trust in you. I get upset when other's speak to you but I wouldn't hold it against you because I know how you feel about me." He paused, thinking back to some of the other's past actions and suddenly seeing them in a new light. The hand tenderly stroking his cheek pulled him back to the present moment. "Why can't you feel that way about me? Why do I have to desire them?"

"It is not that I believe you desire your pursuers. I fear that it may turn into a possibility." He seemed to whisper with a turn of his head.

He grabbed the other's faces, turning it back towards him. "Never," he stated just as quietly before dropping his head into his boyfriend's neck. Tracing the other's lips with the tip of his finger. "You give me what no one ever has. You give me all of you. And I can handle the bad that comes along with the good you give me. But only if you meet me halfway, Sess. A part of you has to know that I would never betray you. Or I don't think you'd feel as strongly as you do for me."

He watched the demon catch his hand and cradle it over his own chest. "No other can ever claim to ever have had this hold over me. Truly, you are to do with me as you please. I have given myself to you and expect the same in return. It is why there will never be any other for me. You are the one for me. Until the end of our days."

It was becoming clear there was little he could do to ease Sesshomaru'a concerns. If the demon was concerned with the possibility of him leaving for another there was little he could do aside from doing whatever it was the dog needed him to do for him to feel more secure in their relationship. He would fold. Even if it killed him to do so. Because it just might literally kill him if he did nothing.

He nuzzled his nose into his boyfriend's neck and dug in closer to the warmth between them. Pulling back to stare up at the face that seemed to have developed a fascination with the ceiling of their bedroom.

"Forever," he promised suddenly. Watching as those amber eyes met his own.

"Forever." The full-blood returned.

And he knew the other meant it with ever fiber of his being. But so did he.

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 **AN** : The nature of their relationship is what I refer to as "dark." Whatever that may consist of in future chapters.

Thanks for reading. ^_^


	4. Nothing Gets Me High Like You Do

The door opened up, Inuyasha looking up at the handsome demon who stared back. The arm perched along the door frame coming down to reveal the dog's face in greater detail. The red scratches over his cheek impossible to miss over his pale skin. The dark bruise along his jawline not taking away from his exotic features. His marred ethereal features not taking away from his sex appeal despite the obvious markings.

The hanyou watching the demon step closer to him, the duffel bag he held dropped carelessly at his feet. One clawed hand coming up to thumb across the swollen side of his lip. A dark spot their from the slap that stung his flesh. His lover's face coming down to brush his lips against the slight swell beneath his left eye. Biting his lip as he watched the other pull away only to press against the bruise on his lip. Closing his eyes as those lips meshed with his own, leaning into the larger frame at the arms that came around to hold him close.

Being with Sesshomaru made him feel all kinds of crazy. No one had ever hurt him more, but no one had ever loved his as much either. When it was good, it was good. But when it was bad, it got really ugly. Saying last time was the last time but. . .he always found himself opening the door to let the demon back into his world.

An addiction he didn't know if he wanted to be cured from. Sesshomaru brought with him a high that he'd never found in anyone else. Their was no getting over him.

He gasped lightly at suddenly being lifted off the ground. Wrapping himself around the demon as he looked down at the silver haired man. Letting himself be carried deeper into the apartment and to the bedroom. Everything he felt he saw staring back at him.

Their love a crazy ride he went along on as a willing passenger. An active participant in the madness.

Their was a sort of peace in the insanity.


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